Goals Diverted

I'm not going to make it...

At the beginning of 2012, I made a list of all the goals I had for the year to come. Some were for pursuing my career and educational goals; some were geared toward developing my blog, but the most important ones I identified were my running goals. Although we’re only entering the third month of the year, it is evident to me that one of my main goals is not going to be reached at this point in time. I’m left with trying to figure out how to proceed when things are not going to work out the exact way I would have liked them to.  Although I’m simply talking about not being able to run a half marathon in the time frame I had allotted myself, I’m realizing that addressing the concept of "hopes and dreams unrealized" can be applied to so many areas of my life. I’ve never actually sat down and thought about how to move forward when I’m left with the disappointment of my plans not working out.

It had been a goal of mine, at the beginning of the year, to run in the Unplugged Half Marathon on April 14^th, 2012. I developed a 12 week training schedule based on research I’d done for beginners wishing to run a half marathon. I’d even begun my training at the Edge and was ready to really jump into it. However, I’ve been struggling with some unforeseen medical issues that have caused my endurance and performance to lose consistency. At first, I did my best to push through everything I was feeling, but I finally realized that the problems I was having were not normal for someone my age and have been working with my doctor to find a solution. Although I’m doing much better now, I had to stop my training. The end result is that I will not be ready to run a half marathon by April 14^th. Even if I could still consider it, the race sold out in 15 hours!!!  Last year it was a relatively fast sell out but it took a couple of weeks, not hours! I’m very excited for those who got in but I’m disappointed that I won’t be able to join them.

So the question is, where do I go from here? I have time and energy that was invested in reaching for a goal that was important to me; I don’t want to waste it. After studying my goals, I developed a plan to assess the one I wouldn’t be able to reach so that I can confidently move forward.

1.       Acknowledge the loss- I know that it is very frustrating, if not devastating, when your goals are not reached. It’s very important for you to recognize the emotional piece that comes with this disappointment. If your reaction is strong, then it just proves the goal was important to you. I am a person who tends to constantly plan and think about what I want to do and how it is going to affect my future. (some may call this worrying) I like to be prepared for anything that may be thrown my way. When my plans go astray, it’s easy to be thrown off kilter and feel out of sorts. Especially, when I was so looking forward to something, like completing my first half marathon.

I am disappointed that I will not get to participate in this year’s Unplugged Half Marathon event, that my training did not go as planned and that I have had to alter my running plans to deal with a health issue.

2.       Let it go- While I understand that this is easier said than done, it does not benefit you in any way to hold on to disappointment and frustration. It burns energy that you could be putting into developing a new goal and plan or it could hinder you from moving on to something more important. Take a deep breath, recognize your feelings and move on.

I am aware that I have these feelings of disappointment, however I also understand that there is nothing that I can do to change what has transpired to alter my plans. I will let these feelings go and move on.

3.       Decide if your original goal is still important to you- I would use your reaction to your plans being altered as a gauge for weather something is important to you or not. If it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal that you won’t be doing or getting something you'd planned on, then maybe it wasn’t as significant to you as you thought. However, if you’re aware of feelings of disappointment or regret, I think it may be safe to say that your goal was important. Think about where you’ll be a year from now and if, when you look back, it would make a difference to you if you reached your goal or not.

Because I am feeling disappointed that I will be unable to participate in my planned half marathon, I believe that it is still important for me to train for and run an equal distance race. A year from now, it will matter to me if I reached this goal.

4.       Revise your goal- Depending on the reason for you not reaching your target, it may be necessary to revisit and redraft your goal. Were you over-ambitious? Look at the time frame, the monetary investment, the tools needed, and even your commitment level, and decide if there is anything you can do to make reaching your goal easier for yourself.

Because of my unforeseen health issues, I need to pick a different Half Marathon to train for. Not only am I no longer able to register for the Unplugged, but the time frame is too short to allow for me to thoroughly address my health concerns. It may be in my best interest to train for a shorter race first so that I may pace myself as I recover.

5.       Take action and create a new plan to achieve your goal-Once you’ve developed your new goal (or adjusted your old one), take the time to plan for how you will make this time a success. Learn from what previously caused you to fail in the first place. Remember, Conrad Hilton once said “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.” If achieving this goal is important to you, devise a plan to be successful and do your best to follow it.

I will break my goal of running a half marathon down into two parts to make achieving it more attainable-First, while I am still dealing with my health issue I will focus on training for a shorter, less stressful race distance such as a 10k. I will choose a race and I will alter my training schedule to focus on this shorter length. I will then choose a half marathon for later on in the year to train for on the condition that I’m given the all clear from my Doctor.

6.       Enjoy the journey. –Self explanatory J

Running a half marathon is still at the top of my bucket list. I’m excited that I am finally at a position in my life where reaching this goal is actually a possibility. Even six months ago I wouldn’t have dared to dream that I would be on my way to this place of health and fitness.  Although I’m disappointed that I won’t be meeting my goal for the Unplugged half marathon, I am glad that I can continue working on my running technique and take care of myself. I am looking forward to being a spectator and cheering on everyone else as they dash to the finish line.

So my question for you is what do you do when you realize you won’t be reaching a goal or meeting a deadline that you’ve set for yourself? Do you hold yourself accountable and re-evaluate or is it easier to simply not think about it? What do you do when a goal must be deferred?

 I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Still running,

Betsey

Operation Transformation: Part Two

Tara and Nolan outside the Edge

And so it was decided: Let there be a competition!


Although I didn’t expect the emotions that would be involved with this process, I welcomed them. I’d been handed an opportunity to change my life on a silver platter; I wasn’t going to waste it!

I was nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. I had a million “what if” questions running through my brain; the largest and most overwhelming being what if I fail? I had to open myself up to a world of people (literally hundreds of Star 92.9 morning show listeners) and allow myself to be vulnerable. But I was willing to do it, merely for the slim chance that I could help or inspire one person by sharing my experience.

Meeting everyone

It was a waiting game the weekend before we started…Waiting for Monday morning at 6:30 am to get there… Waiting to meet the other contestants… Waiting to see who I’d be paired up with for a personal trainer… Waiting to do a live interview (what the heck is that like?!)… Waiting to figure out how to go from Couch Potato to Work Out Queen…Let’s just say I didn’t sleep the night before.

Tara, Danika, Lynnette and I

I had my clothes picked out the night before like it was the first day of school. There were three alarm clocks set so that there wasn’t any possible way for me to oversleep (I didn’t really think it was going to be a problem considering I’d barely slept since the day before the finalist were announced. It was odd, that feeling of anticipation. I went from calm to giddy to nervous all within seconds of each other. Do you know what it’s like to hear someone on the radio talking about you and saying your name? Weird, that’s for sure!

I was ready though, to go on this journey and change my life.

Talking with Nolan

The day went by in a blink of an eye! I was awake before my 3, yes three, alarms went off that morning. I finished my shower, was dressed, groomed and out of the house and on my way to the Edge in Essex Jct, VT within 20 minutes. (Now that’s a record for me, maybe I was a little excited.) I listened to the delightful morning show hosts, Nolan and Tara, on my way there in the car. Every time they mentioned my name or announced the trainers as they came in, I swear the butterflies in my stomach stirred up and tickled me. To make matters worse, my GPS led me to the Edge location across the street from where I was supposed to be and got me a little panicked. Tara and Nolan started announcing the first contestants arriving at the gym.

Yes, they brought us Dunkin' Donuts

After I finally figured out that I was supposed to be across the street, it was time to take those few steps out of the car and into the gym. Yikes! When I walked in, I must have looked a little scared because the front desk person piped up right away and asked if I was there for the Biggest Loser contest. I think I managed to get out an “uh huh” and she pointed me in the right direction. As I walked into the gym, Nolan and Tara were Live on the air, giving a play by play of the competition and revving their audience up to support us. I introduced myself and I must say how lucky I was that it was Nolan and Tara who were going on this journey with us. Nolan was sweet and goofy, and immediately put me at ease. And, Tara was lovely and kind and seemed just as happy that I was there as I was. Man, did we score!

Lynnette and Nolan

When everyone had finally arrived, they interviewed each of us on the air, just asking us a little bit about our story and why we had wanted to be a part of this competition. They also introduced all the trainers and give their background as well. Finally around 8:00 am they put all of the trainer’s names in a hat and let us each draw one to see who we would be paired with for the competition. I got Lynnette Davis. Delightful! I could tell just from the hour and a half I’d been in her presence that she was spunky and full if energy. And, I didn’t think she’d have any problem calling me on my stubbornness. Plus, she could obviously kick my butt if she wanted to!

Lynnette with Nolan and Tara

I got to spend a little time one-on-one with Lynnette, and we put together a game plan. She gave me a starting place for food, suggesting snacks and breakfast/lunch/dinner options based on a Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. She asked me to keep a food log that she could look over and made me promise to get in at least 30 minutes of activity a day while I was away from. (Honestly, at that point I thought 30 minutes was asking a lot but I humored her and said I’d try.) She took me on a tour of the facility and got a class schedule and marked off the ones she thought I could start with.

Lynnette and I, ready to go

Then, Lynnette showed me a picture of herself from about 8 years prior, more than 125lbs heaver right after the birth of her second daughter. She’d been right where I was. And she knew how to crawl out from under the overwhelming feelings associated with struggling with one’s weight: the loss of control, the disappointment, and the hopelessness.  Then, Lynnette took me to meet one of her clients who happened to be working out that morning while we were there. Lynnette had helped her lose 85 pounds in the last year. There was proof right in front of me that I could trust her to help me.

The Trainers

Eventually, Nolan and Tara wanted to weight us in. (We all knew this was coming, as dreaded as it was.) I weighed in at 185.2, which actually was 7 lbs lighter that I was at the doctor’s office two weeks before, not that I care to admit it. I’d been working on my own to limit my portions and add activity any way I could. Lynnette was confident that this was the last time I’d see that number, and I believed her.

The Contestants

At 9:00 am Dave Eaton, Star 92.9’s official photographer, came and took our pictures with our trainers and group photos with our awesome hosts, Nolan and Tara.

It was such a neat experience to watch the morning show team work their magic, to meet the other contestants and trainers and to have an amazing amount of support just handed to us. We were given an 8 week membership to the Edge, two 1 hour sessions with our personal trainer a week, and $10 a day for the 8 weeks in Subway gift cards to help with our food selections. I really can’t express how thankful I was for such an amazing opportunity. I was ready to take what I’d been given and run.

Run as far and as fast as I could…

<3, Betsey

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become. ~ Unknown

Note: All pictures were taken by Dave Eaton

Running to Chocolate? Yes please!

1^st Annual Run to Chocolate to benefit the Fairfax, VT Recreation Department

And, they're off!

This race was a fun 2 mile jaunt through a quaint town in Vermont to support their Athletic department. Luckily for all the runners participating, it was a relatively sunny day. Although it wasn’t as warm there, 32 degrees, as it was when I left my house (45 minutes away and 41 degrees) it was still a beautiful day. I think it’s safe to say that fun was had by all! I was delighted to see so many children participating in the run; there were many boys and girls running alongside Mom and Dad with their bibs pinned proudly to their shirts. Speaking of Bibs, I must admit, the number I was assigned made me a little uneasy, it was #13! Now I’m prone to hurting myself (again, my nickname isn’t Bubble Wrap for no reason!) so I was a little leery of the opportunities that may arise to help me once again prove my lack of gracefulness.

First Place Runner 12:21

The run departed from the Middle school and went out along a dirt road that thankfully wasn’t too muddy. For those who don’t know, it’s a fact that in Vermont we have a Fourth Season we endearingly call “Mud Season.”  The ground literally turns to soggy, soupy, mush. We were lucky that even through the unseasonably warm temperatures, we seem to be having this February, the dirt road was hard enough that we could run it without out our sneakers sinking in and throwing us off balance.

Almost there!

The route took us along the Lemoille River so it was a nice to have some scenery to look at as we ran. The trail was marked by white arrows along the path spurring us forward for a mile before we turned around at a water table to head back to where we started. I always like when we go back the way we came because you can gauge your distance better and recognize landmarks telling you have far you have to go, which in turn encourage you to keep going.

Crossing the line!

I will say though, that the bad luck of the #13 did get me. I was fortunate not to trip and roll an ankle or fall and skin my knee. However, I lost the gloves that I’d hastily ripped off and shoved in my pocket when my hands started getting hot. I noticed one falling from my pocket and quickly turned around to grab it and stuff it back in but soon discovered the other one was missing, too. When I looked down the trail I could see it way behind me on the ground. So I back tracked to retrieve it. Another runner realized what had happened and picked it up as she was going by to bring it to me. Thank you fellow runner!

Handing in my Tag, Finished at 20:21

My only comment about the race was that it was backwards. Meaning, as we started, we ran down hill and with the wind. On the way back, we ran uphill and against the wind. I guess I’ll blame it on #13…I’m used to running 5k’s. What I have found is that the first mile is usually the easiest to complete because of the adrenaline and excitement to actually be running. In this mile it’s easier to complete a harder route with incline because your adrenaline is pumping your arms and legs and carrying you forward. The second mile is the toughest because the adrenaline wears off and you’re left feeling aches and stitches and by that time the cold gets to your throat. This is where your brain starts to fight with your body and you have to entice them both to keep going. Then, when you get to the third mile, although you may be at a slower pace your adrenaline kicks back in and your brain wins out helping you to make it to the finish line. So, for this race, I would have liked the incline in the first mile and the wind blowing with me at the end. For my own openly selfish reasons, I would have liked the course to have been the opposite route. But who really wants it to be easy, right? A forced display of strength is a beautiful thing.

Holy Water, Batman!!! My throat was sore!

I overheard the runner who came in first say he finished in 12 minutes and 21 seconds. Congrats buddy! Maybe someday I’ll run a 6 minute mile? Doubtful, but it’s oh so nice to dream! I will say he was more than a foot taller that I am so I’m guessing that’s to his advantage. I did finish at 20:21 even with my #13 induced mishap (so I’m telling myself J). But let me tell you, I’m thrilled with a ten minute mile; especially considering a year ago I would have thrown my head back and laughed had you told me I’d be running to begin with.

Rachel was happy to see me.

I believe there were over 50 runners at this inaugural Run to Chocolate, so it was a nice small run. It really felt like everyone was there to run and to have fun. And who doesn’t like a chocolate treat at the end? There was a Facebook event page started to promote the race and there were many community members posting that even if they couldn’t attend, they were willing to bake some goodies to help support it.

I was happy to see her, too.

There was a delightful spread of hot coco and coffee, brownies, cupcakes, cookies, pudding, a chocolate fountain with strawberries and sponge cake and some sinful concoction with layers of chocolate cake, marshmallow, and peanut butter/chocolate rice crispy all paid as tribute to honor the Chocolate God! I think the best part of the run was seeing all those amazing kids delighting in their chocolate heaven for a job well done!



Rachel enjoyed her chocolate goodies!

I look forward to “Running to Chocolate” again and am hoping that people hear about what a neat race this was. I know the turn out will be bigger next year but I’m happy I got to be a part of this first one. Thanks Trevor for inviting me to this race, I’m sure you knew I couldn’t turn chocolate down!



Fondly, Betsey

Yum! I'll run to Chocolate any day!

Operation Transformation: Part 1

I thought it might be nice to give a little back ground on how this all started and where my love of running came from.

I received the phone call of a life time…when I was least expecting it.

On Wednesday, September 28^th, I saw a post pop up on my Facebook newsfeed saying “Sign up to be Star 92.9’s Biggest Loser” and was intrigued. (I was literally watching episode 2 of the cable TV show’s new season on demand while my daughter was napping in my arms) Upon further investigation, I found out that our local radio station was searching for 5 finalists to participate in a challenge they were putting on to be Star’s Biggest Loser. On a whim I decided to submit an application. They asked for basic info, including the dreaded weight number, and for us to tell them why we wanted to lose the weight.

I have to believe that my finding this contest was somehow meant to be because I had been on the phone that morning with my best friend and cousin, Janey, discussing this very issue. At a Doctor’s appointment the week before I had blood drawn and my cholesterol checked. The results were not favorable and I’d been diagnosed with High cholesterol at age 28. Scary; like stay-up-worrying-about-it scary. Janey and I had also been discussing the possibility of my donating my eggs to her so that she may try in-vitro. There are specific guidelines for donors and one heavily emphasized (no pun intended) point is that BMI for a donor is to be below 29. My BMI was at 35.6 (according to an online calculator using height and weight) Not only does my weight affect the possibility of giving my cousin the best gift I possibly could, it also affects the prospect of adding to my own family if I ever wanted to.

For the past 2 years I’ve been focused on raising my daughter as well as dealing with some family issues and have let my health and wellbeing go by the way side. Maybe this was the kick in the pants I needed. I submitted the following entry:

“Last week I was diagnosed with High Cholesterol, which at 28 is very scary. I’m a stay at home mom with an 18 month old daughter, Rachel, who is now my main priority. I feel so guilty that I’ve let my health get to this point because the greatest effect has been on her. I don’t have the energy to keep up with her and if something happens to me I can’t bear the thought of leaving her without a mother. I know that I use food for comfort and would love the opportunity to learn how to change my behavior and work on my self-image. I also would love to start thinking about adding to my family but at the weight I’m at now, my fertility has been hindered. Getting in shape would help make that dream come true for my family as well make donating my eggs to my cousin, Janey (who was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 26 and her body is now in menopause due to the chemo treatment she went through), a reality. Getting the diagnosis of Hyperlipidemia last week was a shock but it was also an eye opener. I have to take care of myself. I have the motivation to do this; I just have no idea where to start. It would help to be accountable to someone/something and this contest seems like the perfect opportunity. Thank you so much for your consideration”.

The entries were due by noon on September 29^th, 2011 and the winners would be announced after 7am on the morning show with Tara and Nolan. So on Thursday, Rachel and I went out to pick up some Mums and visit my Dad at his office. When I got home I checked the missed calls (because we don’t know the password to our voicemail) and I saw a call from a local phone number I didn’t recognize. Nothing other than instinct told me to call it back. I did and where did it lead?! To on air personality Miss Jennifer Foxx! She graciously told me that they had already chosen the winners but that they loved my entry. She told me I was in the “second tier” of entries and that if someone backed out there was a chance I would be chosen to replace them. I should listen to the 7am reveal, just in case. I thanked her and we ended the phone call. Let me tell you, I did not sleep at all that night. I had my radio on until 2am in the hopes for some kind of hint. I prayed to hear my name in the announcement in the morning; not that I wanted someone else to back out, but for me to be chosen. The radio went back on at 6am.Well, 7am rolled around and I continued to wait through all the teasers and weather and finally the winners were announced!!!

I was not one of them.

DARN.

For me, not darn for them. Congrats to them…

You know, something similar like this happened while I was pregnant with my daughter. I got sick with the flu and ended up in the hospital for dehydration. When the doctor came to check on me, he told me I’d be lucky if I made it to the weekend without giving birth. Well, every day I waited for her to come, and every day she didn’t come. She finally came exactly a month later. If only he hadn’t told me she’d be there by the weekend! Sometimes it’s that little bit of hope…Right now, I don’t know what was worse: waiting for my daughter to be born or waiting for Tara and Nolan to announce the names of the 5 finalist!

Later in the morning, after not hearing my name, I decided that I was going to do this anyway and I put on some gym clothes and took my daughter outside and ran up and down our front yard for half an hour. (We live on the side of a mountain, so it’s steep) Rach and I had just walked into the house to dry off because we were soaked from playing in the wet leaves and grass. (Well, at least she was, I was drenched from sweat) when the phone rang. The caller ID had an odd local name/number show up that somehow my brain processed fast enough to realize who was calling: Star 92.9. Oh. My. Goodness…could it be? I answered and Holy Moly, whose cheerful voices do I hear: Tara and Nolan. Tara and Nolan are calling me. **Pinch** Hello? I must admit that my heart started racing a million miles a minute and I think I struggled to process what they were saying to me but I remember Tara saying that she knew I had talked to JFo the day before and she’d told me that I was back up should the need arise…well, someone backed out and that meant: I WAS IN. Nolen was so endearing, asking if I was okay with talking about my weight, because he was uncomfortable just asking about it. I, of course, said it would be fine. After all, that’s what this is about, right?! We discussed logistics and I think I cried a little because I was so overwhelmed. I was shaking for a while afterwards…I wasn’t expecting it. I thought the choices were made and I was doing it on my own. I guess there were other plans…


Stay tuned for Part 2 next week :)

Fondly,
Betsey